A bird stuck in a house!

A few months ago, my husband and I had an all night visitor in our house from one of nature’s finest creature – a bird!  We did not realize that behind our wreath on the front door that we had a nest full of future birds.

After 30 minutes of back and forth disagreements about the best way to get the bird out of our house, we were nowhere near a successful outcome.  Victoria, our 20-month old daughter, kept laughing and pointing up in the air as the bird was flying from one room to the next saying, “Mommy, look a bird!”

After reviewing Dr. Google for best ways to get a bird out of your house, we decided to leave our front door wide open with our lights off while hoping the bird would leave before bed. Unfortunately, at bedtime, the bird was still in the house. We decided to leave the door open all night thinking that eventually, the bird would fly out of the house.  Victoria’s room was about 10 feet from our front door, and I immediately started to imagine all sorts of scary monsters, robbers or terrible things that could go wrong with our front door remaining wide open all night. So, I decided to camp out on the couch for the night.

I lay on the couch staring at a bird in our entryway chandelier; and the bird stared at me. We had a mom to mom stare down.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to do if a one-eyed purple evil scary monster came through the front door. We continued our stare down.

I did not understand why the bird would not fly 2 feet to be with her nest. All of our problems would be solved if she would only just take this small action. It was the perfect solution – what was she waiting for – come on mamma bird!

It was then that I realized how many people watch their friends, family or co-workers and have ideas of a perfect solution based on what can be seen in front of our eyes or what we have experienced in life.

It is easy for us to lay out a road-map or a decision for someone else and expect immediate agreement or alignment.  How much harder it is to stop, ask questions, listen and to understand what is really driving a person’s decision making or behavior?

The bird probably didn’t want to move because I was a threat to her future babies and she didn’t want to give up their location. Or a host of many other reasons. The solution couldn’t have been that simple or Dr. Google would have returned only one website link for ‘how to remove a bird from your house.’

Sometimes what we see isn’t all there is – relationships, jobs, family, and friends come with effort, and require many conditions to be happy and healthy. Each deserve consideration and support before deciding for someone else a perfect solution.

A quote I reference when talking about understanding another person’s situation is: “Empathy is trying on someone else’s shoes. Sympathy is wearing them.” – Anonymous

Maybe…just maybe…we should all be a little less quick with advice and do more listening, more being there and find out what is really going on in someone’s life to understand and ask how you can help when someone appears to be stuck!

Advertisements

Don’t forget to reply. It really is that simple.

We live in an insanely fast pace world.  A world of wi-fi connections everywhere, instant access to answers on google, 24-hour grocery shopping that allows  you to pick up groceries without having to even get out of the car.  Don’t get me wrong, I love it all and as a mom of 6 with my own business, I need every ounce of immediate help I can get in a 24 hour period.

And yet, with all this instant access, I find it amazing how many people I know on a personal level that I cannot reach.  I have friends, relatives, children and vendors who I can call, email or text and wait days for a reply.  I ask myself, “Is it me? Have I said something offensive? Are they alive? Should I call an ambulance?”

I wait the appropriate length of time and check again to find out that I haven’t offended them and in fact, we are on great terms. They are alive and no they haven’t been in the hospital or unconscious for days.  We might share a laugh about how busy they are, how they forgot to reply to the text but of course, they read it immediately.

Our world has become so fast paced that people are unconsciously choosing not to respond to emails, text or phone calls because they don’t have time to organize a response. Unintentionally sending with it, this message: you are not important to me or I don’t have time for you.

As I experience this more and more, I realize I want to be different.  Everyone needs their own meter for turnaround times, however as we make our life more simple with technology, we can make it more simple with communication as well.  Set your own expectations and habits.

If your text message reply turnaround time becomes longer than 4 days, deactivate your text message service.  You aren’t doing yourself any favors.   If your voicemail reply becomes a week, deactivate your voicemail service.  However, should you decide you need these services in your life, change your habits – respond to them when you read or listen to them.  Be different and don’t forget to reply.  It really is that simple.

Why Hire an Executive Coach

The essence of individual coaching is helping individuals and leaders step into their potential by understanding their passion and refocusing energy into results.

Making significant changes in your career or your life without the help of a coach or mentor can be very intimidating.  It doesn’t have to be – it can be the most successful and rewarding time of your life.

With a coach, you can transfer your nervous energy into positive action and become the best you!

Sometimes in life, we need a guide to help us get through our obstacles.  And sometimes it’s better to admit to being “stuck” than stay where we are and expect changes to occur around us.

I once had a leader early in my career tell me, “If you don’t care enough to invest in yourself even the tiniest bit then why should I?”  It was an eye opening moment for me.  I realized  that if I wanted to go anywhere in life that it was in my hands and not my bosses.  I surrounded myself with mentors and the best coaches to help me accomplish my plans every year.

Some of the best people I have had the privilege of learning from have been my coaches and mentors and are now my friends.

It’s never too late – start now. Be a better you. Be the best version of you.

Autumn